Bipolar and Divorce - Why the Connection? | Bipolar Lives

Neurochemistry And Endocrinology In Bipolar Disorder

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Many, many hours I hid on my bed screaming and keening into pillows. My boyfriend of 2 years was just diagnosed with Bipolar disorder. I just do not understand why they can not except me for me and that makes it so much harder. He is so sensitive and I don't want to make him even more depressed. You'll start to feel better and by removing yourself from the situation that caused you to spiral, you will be able to gather your thoughts and assess the situation a little more rationally. Yes, lithium helps me, and has for about 25 years; but that doesn't automatically mean it will help you too. The man she is with now will certainly have it soon if she keeps going.

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I will say this, however. I feel everyones pain. As I get older I'm in my early 50s now , I expect my coping mechanisms will need adjusting, but hopefully medical science of the brain will improve also. I was diagnosed with bipolar dissorder in jan It leaves me feeling exhausted and actually more vulnerable. We've had more problems struggling with my alcoholism initially and then his sister put pressure on him to tell me about his disorder.

It really resonated with me. I think it's hard for people to understand because when I'm sick my perception is so off.

And now I am seeing them discover that exact same thing in my child and it makes my heart implode. I closed the chat, and removed her from my facebook. But then we know I have an itchy unfriending finger.

Thank you for the appropriate credit and link! A couple of comments on your post here! The Disorder has a very storied, well-documented history.

Genuine ignorance will crumble to truth. Only willful ignorance remains. And who cares what people who choose to remain willfully ignorance think? You are commenting using your WordPress.

You are commenting using your Twitter account. You are commenting using your Facebook account. Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email. I recommend checking out the rest of this post at the link below. Dennis February 25, at 3: Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here That includes feelings of love and attraction. I catch a lot of shit from Bipolar people for that sentiment. I do not know how everyone else feels. I do, however, know how an unwell cycle of Bipolar Disorder can cause delusional thoughts and feelings.

And if you are Bipolar and thinking that, I would challenge you to look back at your previous manic cycles and compare feelings you had during those cycles to feelings you had before they started, after they ended, and see how consistent they are.

In Bipolar people, mania is a pretty common reason. Feeling good does not necessarily mean it is good. Is the person trying to help themselves? A person that is not actively working to be well and following through on all of that tedious crapwork is not going to stay well. No amount of love and compassion is going to inspire that person to want to be well or not be shitty. Every situation is different. If you feel you are in such a situation, I would highly recommend that you speak to a counselor about your situation or reach out to a local organization that deals with abusive relationships.

They will be able to provide better insight on your specific situation and may be able to provide resources to separate yourself from that relationship. Compassion for the mentally ill and people that struggle is wonderful; but there must be limits.

As usual, great stuff. Even though members of my family have BiPolar, or at least are undiagnosed, this article rings bells for me in a past 10 years of hell…took ages for my man of 20 years to convince me things could be good again.

Now I am watching my grandaughter, who got out of a similar situation, act out on her poor current partner, whilst telling me she still loves the previous tosser. The man she is with now will certainly have it soon if she keeps going. That sounds like a very difficult situation to contend with. I hope things go smoothly for you and yours. Your blog is really helpful Dennis. The older he gets, the more frequent his episodes. He is also an alcoholic though will not admit it.

My parents took him back in for years in spite of his lack of work to stay well, but once my father passed away, my mom just could not deal with him anymore and I was definitely an advocate for her not taking him back in. I really appreciate it! People like your brother, and even myself, often have to fall really far before they can realize that the way they conduct their life does not work.

That is often the case with mentally ill, alcoholics, and addicts. Not everyone does though, unfortunately. Sometimes all you can do is step back and let them deal with the repercussions of their choices in life.

My ex was abusive in how she ended the relationship, and over the months since ending it. After she blamed me for causing her anxiety, I looked into anxiety disorder and sound that unwell cycles, even in anxiety disorder, can lead to people doing terrible things. So I excused her behavior. Even then, I excused her behavior and told them and told myself they were wrong. I found myself saying they were a great person, that we connected on a deep level, that there are so many wonderful things about her, all while she was lashing out at me, making me feel awful about myself, seeking to control me.

When a combination of things finally got through to me, I told her how hurt I was and minimized contact. The following months I watched her fall deeper and deeper into depression, during the brief spans of contact we had, she would tell me about how busy and exhausted she was, but could not come up with any specifics other than that she lied on the couch after work each day, waiting to go to sleep.

I got scared, so I started contact up with her again. After I set a few limits over an extended period of time, the fact that she followed through with one let me pat myself on the back, tell myself she was getting better, and that things were different this time. I ignored that every limit I tried to set was a battle that I would always fail. I ignored things that she did that were controlling.

And when she started doing things that were flirtatious, or things that would not be acceptable between people that were just friends. I treated it like it was real, not just the abuse returning. How could I not have seen it? You see what you want to see, especially in the people you care about. You hope things will get better, and then you take small signs that they are and inflate them. You do so because you loved them, loved the person they were, and want that person back so badly that you only see that person, not the person they became.

I do not know why she did what she did, or continues to lash out in anger at me, 3 weeks since I last talked to her. It is not worth it. My best suggestion is to expect from them what you expect from everyone else. Let them see for themselves how far away they are. It just means protecting yourself, and letting the other person decide for themselves if they want your help, or that they can manage normal responsibilities, or that they need treatment finally, or that they only want to surround themselves with people who will bend over backwards for them.

And the 4rd lot, you are better off without. I would love to see Dennis write an article on the line between caring and enabling. And the line between being encouraging and being pushy]. Thank you for the poignant, well-expressed statement Jeff.

I pretty much agree with everything you have commented here. And I can most certainly write a blog post about that as well! I was married to a person with bipolar disorder who would not take medication for twenty years. It was quite fashionable then to blame all mental illness on upbringing re R D Laing.

As others have described the relationship started as caring and supportive. It was intellectually compatible, exciting, interesting, but but after six months deteriorated. I spent years trying to put things right. They were living with me but still seeing him. I will not detail this but it was very destructive for them and impeded one of then from attaining the academic success that they could have.

I have long been out of this relationship and am now in a loving and supportive one but the old memories continue to surface nearly twenty-five years after the facts. I just want to thank you for your blog on bipolar disorder and abuse. I excused much because I knew he had an illness but he made no effort to become and stay well and I am told this is still the case.

Also it is good to have the issue brought into the open. While I was undergoing the abuse I could get no help. In fact people did not believe me because the abuse was always verbal and psychological not physical.

In those days you needed to be able to show bruises. Thank goodness that has changed. Thank you for taking the time to comment and share your own experiences. Also; you should never use a full name on the internet when discussing mental health. Google will index it sooner or later, meaning it would show up if someone looked up your name. I edited the last name to just an initial. A majority of the people that end up reaching out to me, trying to help someone else, are mothers, wives, and girlfriends; often in abusive relationships.

Progress has definitely been made in many avenues, but there is still a long ways to go. If you find that memories of those situations still plague you, you may want to consider talking to a counselor about it. Trauma is a thing and abusive relationships can leave long-standing damage.

I am a year-old woman fairly recently diagnosed bipolar. My initial reactions were both horror and relief. Due to many extenuating circumstances, I have been misdiagnosed and given meds and therapy that seemed useless since early adolescence.

Those feelings of confusion, remorse and despair felt like life was nothing more than treading water with 50 pound floaties. The rapid cycles and alternating feelings of deep shame or grandiosity were exhausting, confusing and hopelessly inexplicable.

Many, many hours I hid on my bed screaming and keening into pillows. Outside of shame and remorse I had no rhyme or reason. My experience of being chronically misunderstood robbed me of any real identity. Thank God for this blog filled with those brave pioneers speaking out. Maybe if others understand I can understand myself. I feel the cold, cold shame start to melt with each brave precious word I read. Sorry to ramble but I owe a deep debt of gratitude for any who can hear me.

It is definitely a life-altering experience, particularly when you start to see that you can break the chaotic patterns that have followed you in your life. I do want to pass along an important piece of advice about taking in this information on the internet: Everyone experiences their mental illness in a slightly different way. So you may end up reading things on Bipolar Disorder that are not relevant to you. There are people out there that will promise you answers.

They cannot give them. You will have to figure them out for yourself. I have married to a bipolar spouse for over 20 years, who was only recently dxed. Although I had previously told his doctors about his manic behavior, it was always dismissed because he seems so docile and thoughtful in therapy sessions,.

Although he has never hit me, his past behaviors do fit the legal definition of abuse including destruction of property and attempting to take my phone away. The question I have struggled with is whether he is a abuser with bipolar, or bipolar with abusive behaviors.

What is striking to me is his lack of responsibility for his actions. When I called him out on his behavior, he blames it on being frustrated and blames us for not cleaning often enough or to his standards. He occasionally makes this point clear by stringing tape across the entrance to the living room. Knowing the my daughters have a greater likelihood of bp due to a strong history of mental illness in his family makes it tricky. Do I show compassion for a person who is clearly struggling or do I give up realizing that his abusive patterns are more than his illness and are unlikely to ever change?

Do note that I changed your display name. In response to your comment: We cannot control the fact that we are mentally ill. We can, however, work to control what we do as a result of it. You need to go to therapy and learn better habits with coping with your anger. Will he get it perfect all the time?

But, it is not unreasonable to expect effort out of him to create a more peaceful home for you and your daughters. Setting up and enforcing boundaries can elicit drastic reactions, so it would be a really good idea to have professional support to lean on if you decide to go that route. These are words I need to read over and over to keep reminding myself what is going on. Dating a bipolar person is full of emotional gaslighting. It really depends on the person.

There are those of us that strive to minimize the damage we do to the people we care about, because we understand our problems and work to keep them under control. Thank you for your blog. My wife has since August given me my first experience of what it is like to be on the receiving end ofa more serious episode. It started in August when she told me one morning out of nowbere that she wants a divorce because she has become a cereer woman and Im holding her back. Needless to say I was knocked out of my boots and my brain became exhausted thinking of what thereal reason could be.

She has in the meanwhile bravely left the house no idea where she is. My question is, how she wil be likely to behave when she comes down recover from her episode. I am worried that she will want to come back. I dont know if I sgould take her back jjst out of obligation or is it possible to have happy normal lives withthe right medication.

Does she have a history of being mentally ill? Was she actually unwell when she decided this or did was she just acting on personal desires? Yes, she could have a happy, normal life when she finds the right meds and takes them as directed. But that process could take a very long time. All that will do is breed anger and resentment. If you do take her back, it should be because you love her and want to be there with her as she fights this battle, so long as she actually does.

Thank you so much for this article Dennis! And all of these comments are so helpful for me in understanding what I have experienced. I have only recently come to the realization that my husband had undiagnosed bipolar disorder.

He committed suicide 4 years ago as a result of all of the things this disorder caused him to do. He did a pretty great job of hiding his mania until everything imploded on all of us. For the last 4 years I feel like I have been untangling the invisible web that I was caught in. Realizing, after the fact, that what I experienced for ten years was abuse.

And now realizing that he also had bipolar disorder adds another layer of confusion, yet also relief. Relief, because I now know that he was sick, but confusion because of that gray area that lies between tolerance for the mentally ill and disgust for abusive behavior.

Can I be a victim of bipolar disorder? Is that a thing? There were many wonderful things about him! He was fun, people loved, almost flocked to him.

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I know that many BP sufferers and others without BP for that matter may be appalled at the brutality and simplicity of this solution, but it IS a solution. I've known her all bipolar disorder dating website life. We got back together within a week. My estranged husband is in denial of his diagnosis despite bipolar disorder dating website commited to a mental facility for a month. Yes, it provides some great support, but it has many other features that make a appealing for a wide funny messages online dating of folks, especially young people. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment.