I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married
The two trains of thought just don't mesh. You are willing to do anything for that person. Furthermore, since I do not know you I would be amiss to assume anything specific to your personal experience. My fiance is Indian, her parents were arranged and are 25 years happily married. I check regularly for updates and I get excited when I see that another delicious recipe has made its debut on the blog.
How to heal the heartbreak of feeling replaced
We are not married but in a long term relationship for 3 years we are 24 years old this year. But now he has God again and has found a church where he is "happy". I think that way of thinking is fine and appropriate. When my wife got dangerously sick I was there. The only thing I try to consciously limit is sugar which is only a real challenge with yogurt. Scientific Breakthrough or Common Sense? I am vegetarian and my hubby is not.
He even went on to tell me how she was just an easy target and between him self and another guy she was just a bet to see who could bed her. She claimed that our entire relationship wedding vows included had been nothing more than fantasy.
She said that she still loved her high school boyfriend and would rather be with him. We have been married for 11 years with 4 children. She understands that she will not ever get to be with him and is willing to stay with me for the meantime. But how can I stay married to someone who refuses to love me, openly admits to wanting someone else, and denies ever loving me despite almost 12 years of marriage?
She tells me it was never real, but it was real for me and our 4 kids are real. They deserve parents who love each other. Here is a great article that offers help with what you are going through. My husband And I were happily married for thirteen years. We went through so much to be together. Last year he met a much younger woman who believes in polyamory. She already had a live in fiance plus a lover.
My husband became infatuated. I am so afraid of losing him as he is everything to me and did several things that have made me deeply unhappy. They both now tell me its because im jealous and infatuated and paranoid and several mental illnesses. He has moved her into our home and they sleep together several nights a week. We no longer have a physical relationship. He tells me its because he doesnt trust me. Mainly because ive never said no, and now im expressing unhappiness.
He has cut my family off, says bad things about them. His do not know as they live over seas. Its humiliating me in front of his friends and work colleagues. Ive never been a christian, but now feel drawn to praying for comfort and answers. My husband and I are married for 2 years and we have a wonderful 1 year old baby-girl. At the beginning of lets say around March things started to be different with us. He denied and denied but i eventually had hard evidence that there was in fact another woman.
I spoke with his and he said that this woman was what he used to pray for long before he met me. He said he chose his family over her but yet still he goes out for the night and never answers my calls. Please pray for my husband and I. I really wish i could of attended one of your marriage sessions but i live in the Caribbean. My husband is seeing someone else who is married and he is barely speaking to me.
He is not interested in counseling. We have been married almost 25 years. I am heartbroken have talked to my pastor praying like crazy and have no idea what to do but trust God. He sees my mistakes and not his own. He goes and comes as he pleases.
Hi Diane, Sorry about your marriage, that was 8 moth ago. I am curious as I am exactly but exactly in the situation as yours, what happened, did you get back together? If you did, how did you get back together? I am 35 year old hiv positive traditionally married to my husband who is negative. We have 1 child together and I am currently pregnant with second one. Years ago I found out that when we met he was with another woman who he loves even now. They separated when I got pregnant and got back together 3 years ago,I found out this year and he insists that he wants to marry her as second wife.
Check out this link: If you would please email me at audra. I have been with my husband for 23 years, married We have two children together 17 and I found out seven weeks ago he has been having an affair with my best friend. He says he loves me but he is in love with her. I know our relationship has not been perfect and the way I have acted over the years has not helped. I have been depressed however I am not now. ThT our marriage and relationship has been nothing more then the right thing to do.
I believe in us and refuse to give up. He will not agree to counseling because he says he wants to be with her. I do not want to loose him.
I am so sorry you are going through this! I love how strong you are being!! Please give us a call at We have people on our team who can talk to you about motivating your spouse to get marriage help.
I would strongly encourage you and your wife to come to our 3 Day Workshop before you finalize your divorce.. If you are unable to attend out 3 day in person workshop then please consider doing our Decision Point Course.. We are here to help you.. Please feel free to call us if you have additional questions..
I have been married for 8 years and been together for 9, when I first started seen my wife she was engaged to another man whom she claimed she loved but was not in love with. My wife and I have known each other since we were 5 years old and her mom was with my uncle, but I lost contact with her when we were 14 and reunited at 29 and got married a year later.
During our time married we argued and fought a lot and she was extremely negative and always angry, she was due to my laziness and procrastination. Then half way through our marriage we had my beautiful daughter who is going be 6. For months she would try to tell me through texts to reconcile but I was gone emotionally. Then one night after months of sleeping together without any physical contact she comes to my side of the bed and gets under me to hug her and we slept this way.
The next morning with tears coming down she ask if I will be okay. During the next 10 days astonished me for I kept sending her text messages of us doing a smooth transition of separation but wanted us to be good friends and she agreed. My wife had chose me over him when I first started seen her as he reached out to her and the second time this guy while married text her that he still loved her.
And recently he contact her and told her that his marriage had fallen apart and she told him that her marriage was on the same boat. Ever since then they been talking and seeing each other on occasions because that guy is a single parent with 3 kids. I have left the house but she still calls me every day and we talk for 30 minutes to an hour on the phone nothing about getting back together but just about things that go on in her life.
I told her want to keep my distance since I still loved her. And has asked me to give my life in worship to him that he be praised and glorified in my life when he restores my marriage. For years I doubt it in the existence of personal God instead of abstract force. I need some advice…I havebeen married for 15 years. Throughout the marriage my husband has been a cheater, but through it all I still manage to love him.
He never seem happy with me. I always fought for his attention. But he manage to give his attention to other women. When I thought we were on the right track, he was talking to two different women at the same time, one I contact and she ended it ,but unfortunately the other woman careless.
My husband soon moved in with her just of knowing her of 3 weeks. He took her to the beach and doing things with her that he never done with me. He telks me its over for good. But I manage to still love him. I miss him alot.
I never gave up on him.. He said that the reason was I moved in the other bedroom like we were roommates and he couldnt live like that. But i only did that because I wanted him to see how hurt I was he was cheating and I thought he was going to beg for forgiveness and want me back in the bedroom, but that was not the case.
He has seem to have moved on. I just dont understand 15 years of marriage and someone can just walk away and never look back…. Beam did a podcast on this.. Please click here to listen! My wife and I have been married for 15 years now. But for the past eight months I have experienced changes from her.
She stays late in the living room pretending to watch series, but most of the time she talks to anonymous people even at 23hrs time. When I ask her who are they she says they are her Church friends. But what kind of a friend who could talk to a married woman even at 23hrs? Since then she started blaming me of being to distant — which is not true.
Things got even worse when my job contract was terminated because I was sick and had to do some work while at home and the people I worked for wanted a full-time person. I tried to save my marriage by first asking her what had gone wrong?
I discovered a certain young man — her facebook friend — whom they were sharing even photos. She denied to have a relationship with him. Her mother is very supportive and wants our marriage to be strong, but her father, who was divorced to her mother since she was one year old only to find her when she was 29 — married and with children — made it worse by saying even Christian marriages do break.
I then went to the Church to seek some help. We discussed it and eventually she returned home from her father. I love her not just because she is my wife, but she is the woman I cared for for so many years. She the mother of my children, and I have gone through hard times caring for her — I left everything for eleven months to care for her when she was sick and even her family members had lost hope; I cared for her for three months when she had an accident and broke her leg; I cared and still care for her for everything.
I understand that wealth come and go — and come again. Please help me with your prayers to salvage my marriage and maybe get a better job, and God bless you all. Guys please pray for our relationship my husband and i have married in 9years.. But now my husband is inlove with other girl it is trully hurts for me but most of all the most affected is this situation is my one and only daughter.. My name is Angie and I have been married for 15 years; my husband is Jamaican and our culture is very different I helped him get his residency here 2 years ago, but we have lived together here in America all this time.
I have noticed that he started trying to argue with me a lot more so that he could leave again he started staying away longer but would always come back.
He left our home again in June of We just started back talking because I saw him on Facebook with another woman; so he reached out to me about what I had seen he never said to me that he has been living with this lady for the past 6 months and he says to me I will always be his wife but she is his woman. I let him use my car because he needed transportation for a week; to show that we could still communicate and be kind to one another.
I told him that the facebook stuff hurt me so he had her remove all the videos of them she posted. She is retired from the Arm Forces so she stays at home in cooks and shops all. I actually feel we were together so long because he wanted residency here in America. Please give me some type of guidance with this situation is he just a user and never was a real husband only by marriage? My husband and I have been together4 years, until he walked out 9 weeks ago during a really dumb argument.
We were apart for nearly2 years prior to getting back together4 years ago. We talked about our future and our love for each other constantly. He has totally shut me out. Prior to that, I would send him positive things, but he ignores it.
I know thiswoman is a distraction, nothing more. I am trying to heal myself, but how do I know what to do? Leave him alone, or keep contact? What do I do to restore this? My husband of 11 years moved out in Aug after finding out that my recent disability was permanent.
He informed me he wanted someone who could do things I no longer could. We are still married bit he has been dating another woman since november at least. We have 3 kids together. We have been a couple and best friends for 20 years. I just found out he was cheating on me. The woman is his co-worker and they have been together for 2 years.
My husband and I have been married 20 years now. Never saw it coming. He stated that he had been feeling like this for more than a year. He has always been loving and caring towards me. Now he is just rejecting me and just being a totally different person. He also has PTSD. I know that he is seeing someone else and does not even hide it from me.
I want to save my marriage. Please any advice would be greatly appreciated. I got married on , since then we were happy. From last year problem started between us.
We tried to resolve it. My husband has a habit of keeping everything in mind, n where again any problem arise between us he pull the old things also. I try to tell him that you should not do like this what ever has happened is past.
Now he has decided to give divorce. But I have begged him to gv one for chance to have our relationship. He is not communicating with me n he is staying separate from me. Not allowing me to stay with him. He is very adamant in nature, many people has tried to consol him but all failed. Plz help me is bringing him back. N how cani own his trust, love bk. Our was love marriage. Plz do help me. We currently got back together my husband and I and was going to work our marriage out.
He had an affair when our eldest daughter was a baby, but we somehow managed to put our marriage back together. He says he loves me, but not in love with me.
Our kids are adults and two are married. What kind of example is he for them. I finally consulted an attorney because my husband makes three times what I do and we do have some debt. I would kick him out, but I have to protect myself financially. How can he be so callous. I wonder if I ever really knew him at all. I have been married for 23 years and have four children with the love of my life.
About 90 months ago, a friend saw her having dinner with another man when she told me she was having dinner with a friend. When I confronted her, she lied and said she was with that friend. Cell phone records showed ALOT of communication between this man and her for several months as far back as the records went. There had been a complete lack of any intimacy for about a year, but she was having some feminine discomfort issues for a while and I thought I was just being a thoughtful, non pressuring husband.
Things started to get a litttle better for a few months after the discovery. There has been no intimacy for a solid four months and I still do not feel like she loves me. She continues to say that she loves our family. I continue to pray. I continue to show her that I love her. I feel sad and lonely every day. I love my wife and want to be married to her — I am really tired of feeling this way. I have been seeing a Christian counselor since the discovery at her request — she said I needed to talk to someone about my issues.
She refuses to see a counselor for her. I have requested marriage counseling, but she refuses. Me and my wife have been married for 5 years.
We got a simple argument turned into worse and left me with my 2 year daughter. I begged, pleaded for a month only to find out that she opened herself up to her ex. She now said taht she is madly inlove with that guy and cannot never live without him and up his last breathe. I am worried for my daughter but i am not losing faith. I am requesting prayers for my wife and our marriage to be healed since we were inlove and always go to church. For her realization and not the devil win.
I always pray everyday for God to touch her soul, mind and heart as the guy took her vulnerability, It has been two months now since she left.
We have so much more healing and repairing to do but Jesus has been the only third person in our relationship now. I also have you guys to thank; I never would have thought it was possible to have him back to the loving man he used to be. I shared this article with him and followed your instructions: I let him know that I still loved him, that I was really hurt more than angry and that I needed to move on with my life if he decided to choose to be with this other woman. Thank you for showing us hope.
My wife has decided she is attached to women. She says I did nothing wrong and was a great husband but she thinks her heart wants to be with a women. Is there a chance she could be making a mistake and come back and work on our marriage?? There is another guy who through secrecy has come in between us.
I took her phone and found out which caused a massive deep routed painful fight, prior to which she had developed another friendship which got inappropriate where I single handily had it stopped! But all this has happened as a result of my flaws in having had internet affairs for years..
This other guy now she claims to be just a friend but i know with the facts that ive been presented with that its simply not true.
Questioning her over it has only angered her. Every morning I wake with a sickening uneasy feeling I feel it piercing right in my heart I feel anxious and afraid. I need the biggest miricale God has ever performed.. I feel manipulated controlled and deceived.. I really am struggling to cope! Your email address will not be published. Reply We will definitely keep you both in our prayers. Reply Gustavo I am sorry for your pain and hurt.
Reply may god bless you always n may u live happily…. Reply Monika, I am sorry that this has happened. Reply Thank you for this reply. Reply My husband and I have been together for 7 yrs married 4yrs in total and seperated for 2 of those 4yrs. Reply Fran, it is not unusual for a spouse to show intense desire to reconcile a marriage and then once the wandering spouse agrees, they no longer show the same level of interest.
Reply My husband and I have been together for five years and married for four. Reply It is possible to save your marriage from an affair, and it is possible to have an even stronger marriage than before after it.
Reply Lillian, It is a hard decision that you have made, but as long as you have expressed to your spouse that you wish to save the marriage and he refuses to no avail, then the time comes that he must deal with consequences of his actions. Reply My husband and I have been married for Reply Kasumi, Clearly what your husband is doing is not right.
Reply I could never do that to another human being. Reply Tina, I am sorry for your pain. Reply Sayed, I will definitely keep you in my prayers.
Reply Are you still married, or are you divorced? Reply My husband and i have been married for almost twelve years and have seemed to hit our lowest point. Reply My husband and I just celebrated 22 years of marriage, and 27 years together, I am 46 and he is Reply Been married to my wife over 30 yrs.
Reply My husband and I have only been married 18 months. Reply My husband and I have been married 8 years, he has a history of depression, and addiction to pills. Reply Hello im in a crisis my wife and i have been together for almost 12 yrs married for five this month. Reply Married 24 years and my spouse strayed and left me for good. Reply My wife left me for my dad this past Friday.
Reply My wife and I have been married for almost 14 years, recently I discovered she had been having an affair with a coworker for almost 4 months. I miss her dearly… Reply Definitely praying for you, Nicolas. Please find comfort and hope in our other articles as well.
Two days ago I find out from her mom that she is planning on divorcing me. Reply Well, Mark, you were right in holding off separation as long as possible. Reply ive been with my wife for 9years… only married for 2 of those. Reply Please pray for our marriage, were have been married for 9 years this coming Aprtl. Reply My husband Tendai left me for another woman 3 months ago. Reply Is it ok if my wife is still in contact with the other guy while we are trying to fix our marriage?
Reply I have been married for almost 9 years, together for 11 years. I pray for u. Reply Hi I am married for 2 years.. Reply Before thanksgiving day my life turn worst.
Reply Been married for 11 years with 6 kids. Reply It is likely limerence. Reply If you failed him, then he would have truly strayed.
Reply Married 10 years. Reply I may be wrong, but this is my take on it. Reply Sorry my english is bad. Please help me Reply Good afternoon, Thank you for sharing with us! Reply Me and my husband have been together for 5 years married for 3 years right before our 5 years together he left me and said he didnt want to be with me anymore that he wasnt in love i still tried to hang on. I feel invisible most days and dont know whether to give up Reply Hi Michelle, We actually did a radio show on a similar topic the other day.
Reply Its been 7 years i married my wife my love. Reply I am so sorry you are going through this.. Reply My husband and I are married for 2 years and we have a wonderful 1 year old baby-girl.
Reply My husband is seeing someone else who is married and he is barely speaking to me. Reply Hi Diane, Sorry about your marriage, that was 8 moth ago. Reply I am 35 year old hiv positive traditionally married to my husband who is negative. Please help Reply I am so sorry to hear you are going through this.. Reply i need prayer not for me but for my wife. Reply Good afternoon, We actually have a prayer team if you would like to join it.
Blessings, Reply I have been with my husband for 23 years, married Reply I am so sorry you are going through this! Reply Thank you for your transparency.. I am so sorry that you all are going through this.. We all at Marriage Helper have been through similar situations. Reply I need some advice…I havebeen married for 15 years. Notify me of new posts via email. In Korea, using that expression to someone older is extremely rude.
I have never used that word with anyone other than my husband. It has become sort of a joke between us. You see, my father-in-law has ESP extrasensory perception.
My mother in-law heard me when I used that term. She understood what was going on, and even sided with me, reminding her son to avoid alcohol. My Omonim MIL rarely gives me a talking to. I will enumerate some of them. Most of these are based on my own experiences and personal observations. Some myeonuris , however, are forced to do housework even when they are ill. Remember, the in-laws know everything!
Some myeonuris are fortunate to have in-laws who are more open-minded. Today, while I was working in the kitchen, he called me to eat before I finish the chores, because the food was getting cold. You can keep a little of that pride, because you will need it to maintain your self-esteem, but know when to use it, and never ever use it as a weapon against your parents-in-law. Iain'tsayingmyname March 9, at 3: Kiah W Loserx0rz December 12, at 4: Missy December 12, at 1: Kat December 9, at Grace December 9, at 9: Anonymous August 30, at Princess kang August 12, at 2: Anonymous May 7, at 9: Isabelle April 26, at 6: Love Me February 19, at 2: Sasha August 24, at 2: Foreignne August 24, at 1: CrazyChineseFamily August 23, at Jackie Park August 23, at 9: Jackie Park August 23, at 1: CrazyChineseFamily August 22, at Tell me what you think Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: She lost weight and started going out of town on business trips.
She changed how she looked and would use my hair chippers to cut her hair around her lady parts. Our oldest would ask why is mom dressing the way she is. She is wearing clothes meant for a teenager. My wife came home one day after work and said, " I make all the guys hard for me. It was like getting hit with a brick in the face. If i told my wife she was beautiful, she would say I know.
Most people say I am. I use to just fall asleep crying at night. I wanted to leave, but I was worried about my kids and what a divorce w ould do to them. I would beg my wife to work things out. She seem the least concerned how bad I was hurting inside. A typical evening consist of her coming home picking up the cats and loving on them and then loving on the kids and off to the computer to chat or phone with her co workers. After this she checks her emails and watches TV. If she is not up until 2 in the morning, she gets in bed and cuts on the TV or rent a movies for her.
She does not talk to me. Like I don't even exist. If she does talk to me, its about what a poor father I am, or how I did not do something around the house. Mostly just being critical. I eventualy, moved out of the bedroom into a spare bedroom.
Never years of neglect, she comes a gets in the bed with me like nothing is wrong. Talks to me and wants to cuddle. I no longer desire my wife in any way form or fashion. When I am around other women I get turned on. When my wife is around it is now a complete turn off.
Also she would often tell me to go buy or rent porn if I needed sex that much and that I was being needy and selfish. That it is normal for married couple not to have much sex. I would buy her things for special occassions birthdays, anniversary, Christmas She would not say thank you, I love you only you spent to much, its the wrong size, its ugly, why did you buy this? It was like she wanted to starve me out emotionally and physically. I have been to a few porn sites, but just to get relief.
This is mostly out of desperation. I now no longer want porn just someone who can love me the way God intended. Someone I can love in return. Topper my friend, I understand every word you have posted here. I can tell you exactly how this is going to end. It goes like this. If you press harder to get things moving in the right direction, she will go in the opposite direction.
Meaning, not only will you be neglected, but eventually, she will find another and hurt you again. I am going through this also. Said she had a dinner to go to. Never invited me to go with her. She got home late and her hair was messed up. I waited a couple of days and tried to have sex with her. She was so sore before I could penetrate her. I asked since we never have sex, why was she sore. She just said its been awhile since we had sex. I knew she was seeing someone else at that point.
After that I never touched her again. You are right there are special types of people in the world that are very unhealthy to be in a relationship with. The pattern is to suck you in and then take you through hell. These types of people are sick. They are church going people and will serve in churches and communities functions. They will help any and everyone while neglecting the person whome they are married to.
They are unavailable people. No amount of begging are doing effects these type of people. They have no hearts. They feel nothing for the victim who marries them. They are cruel, manipulative, critical and void of compassion. These are monsters of the worse kind.
They are attractive and charming. Going to a counselor or other is a complete waste of time. These people will charm the conselor and you wil find yourself fighting a battle of two fronts.
The best part of all this is that the neglected partner feels most responsible and at fault. The words I have often heard is you must not be doing something right. You did something to push her away. These are all lies. Also check you childhood. There is almost a percent chance you grew up in a situation like this.
My father was cold and unavailable. I could never please him. I was compared to others and criticized I went as far as winning all types of trophies and metals both athletically and academically. Finished College with both a Math and EE electrical engineering degrees.
He not once said I am proud of you or anything. Oh he says education and money is nothing. Only God matters and that I was just wasting my time. My younger brother on the other hand was in trouble with the law all the time.
My dad rewarded him with gifts and love. Gave him money, a car and shopping sprees. If I asked my father for money he would charge interest. Nevertheless, I have been there for both him and my wife when they needed me. When my wife got dangerously sick I was there.
When my father needed money I was there. Neither of these people even know I exist. Only when they need help. I pushed for more intimacy, I put my foot down at last--and she made off with our two children and now she's gone. You are also right about my parents. Both of my parents seriously messed me up and tore me apart--especially my mother. The thing I don't understand is, I really did consciously go out of my way to pick someone who was NOT like my mother at all.
But you know what? I failed where I didn't suspect it. I picked someone different on a personality type level from my mother, but someone who would nevertheless always fail to give me what I most needed, just like my mother. I had a sound conscious plan; I just got royally undermined by my subconscious, doggone it. You are wrong about only one thing, LonelyTex: At least not with another man. She would have to have some microscopic shred of passionate intimacy capacity for that, and she totally lacks that.
Actually, it would surprise me considerably less if my wife suddenly started having an affair with another woman. Nah--not gonna happen with this refrigerated woman. Years ago, the last time things blew up like this, she gave me a tad bit of a reason to suspect a latent lesbian thing, but when I brought it up and asked her in a counseling session, she got so devastatedly hurt and was crying so vociferously that it was an outrageous thing for me to ask, that I and the counselor both dropped the subject apologetically.
But I will tell you what: It of course calls her faith into immediate question, needless to say. My wife divorced me last November. We had a near sexless marriage for 34 years, but we did have three sons who are grown up today. We are both born again Christians. A couple years ago she told me she wanted her own bed with no man in it. She was not interested in sex. Today - I miss the intimacy with her awful. She became difficult to live with.
She divorced me while I was trying to save our marriage. She will not remarry. I am so afraid of women now that I don't dare get involved with another woman. But there is no intimacy in that either. At any rate she did give me the best years of my life. It blows my mind how our marriage ended the way it did. As a committed christian for many years I can identify with many of the above comments.
I have been married to a christian woman for almost 40 years but our marriage has been almost sexless for close to a decade due to my wife's disinterest. We have discussed it and had counselling but to no avail. I feel so low. I cannot understand how God can expect me to live contrary to my nature I know that we face no temptation that we can't overcome with the Lord.
I will not break my marriage vow by divorcing. However, sadly I am now praying that the Lord would end this misery by taking me soon. Where do I start? I also can relate to the above comments.
My story is long but I will keep it short. My wife and I have been married for 11 years and we have 3 kids under 6.
We both come from Christian families and we met at Church youth group. She was my first and only girlfriend. In the beginning, our intimate life was full of passion and quite healthy in the sexual department too. But, 4 years into the marriage she had an affair with a work colleague 15 years her senior! I was absolutely devastated! The affair lasted close to a year and she moved in with him for 3 mths at its worst point. Leaving me alone in our newly built home.
I cried myself to sleep for many nights and cried a few oceans more. Sadly, during this time of intense neglect, I turned to porn for some sort of release but I felt terribly convicted afterwards as I knew it was sin. When she finally came to her senses, she returned to me as if nothing happened. We had no counselling at all. I was so happy to have her back so We had 3 kids in 4 years. But she has completely lost her libido. No affection no touching, hugging or kissing.
Nothing initiated by her. Her reasons were hormonal imbalance after the pregancies but after our 3rd child this pattern continued. I am at my wits end. We average sex once every 4 to 6 weeks and when it does happen it feels like she is doing a chore and is rushed and in the dark. She is a wonderful mother,sister and daughter but not a wife sadly.
She doesn't believe in counselling but I feel I need to go for my own sanity at least. I can't tell you guys enough how truly sorry I feel for you. I had to stop reading after topper really. I wonder why your wife's all seem to feel justifed in it. I know u have tried to talk to them about your problems with it, but maybe you should ask their problems with it.
TheY probably won't be honest at first, and may use reasons as tierd, or its dirty, but u need to get them to talk more openly with you.
The real problem isn't you, it's them, it's a problem they have. It may be they secretly are very self concious about themselfs, or that they need to be excited again,or that maybe they have forgotten why they fell in love with you, but what ever the reason, if they are not willing to admit that THEY have a problem, then they probably won't be able to get better. It's up to u if u can deal with that, and you need to be honest with out attacking or being bitter, but tell them they have a problem.
I can tell you that you as a person don't deserve this. That you shouldn't allow yourself to be neglected that way, and it breaks my heart because honestly most men would never stay faithful. Your wife's are so blessed. They may not see it, because they think it's ur job to be faithful, but that doesn't mean all men are. But please stay true to them, and if u can't do it anymore be honest and separate first.
But try to remind them how blessed they r first. I wasnt, so it's so sad to see them throw away such a blessing. Your great guys, and don't feel bad about ur self ok, it really is her problem, I mean something she needs to face and get help for, not urs.
I was the cheater, I have no excuse, I am female and I did not get "that way" in a vacuum. I realize the pain I caused my husband and I've paid a huge price for my cheating. Yet he never realized the pain he caused me by denying sex for so long, and by denying me even simple affection outside of sexual intimacy.
Funny because he did lots of "trust busting" and did stupid things that hurt the foundation of the marriage lying, drinking etc , and yet I still desired closeness, I never cut him off, I loved him and was always attracted and "in to him. A man can cheat and people line up to understand, restore and forgive him, and a withholding wife would be easily to blame. I was told to curb my drive, my husband treated me like some kind of pervert, and I was seen as a demanding shrew for wanting sex,.
Sex is good and should be expected and enjoyed in marriage. I felt so rejected and ugly. Really my cheating was all for approval and affirmation, after years of being turned down, ignored, rejected, not held, not kissed or playfully patted or complimented I was like a neglected puppy, just smitten with anyone who would throw a compliment my way, I was so desperate for affection.
No wife or husband should be that empty of normal marital affection. My then husband never ever acknowledged his neglect, I was vilified for my infidelity and we divorced. I didn't love the man I cheated with, never uttered those words or felt that, I was only in need of something physical that was purposely withheld by my beloved husband of over 15 years, and the desire to feel wanted by someone - oh how I longed for my husband to truly WANT me, desire me, but he never did.
He often seemed repulsed. If you think I let myself go, or got fat or am unattractive, that is not at all the case, that's no excuse for a husband's neglect, but in this case, I am very attractive and well kept woman, pretty, but it took another man to make me feel I was still attractive. Someone to treat me like a woman, not a roommate. I am remarried now, to a wonderful man, who has continued to court me after marriage, and in him I found a partner who for the past 5 years has never let my "well" run dry.
Nor have I refused him the affection and love he richly deserves and desires. Its a priority for us and we make the time, we definitely look forward to it. We have quality and quantity in our sex life. Never going more than 3 days without it, and often 2 times a day on weekends, so adding up to times per week.
We show love in all the love languages. Its hard to say if the sex is satisfying and abundant because the communication and trust in the marriage is good, or is that foundation good because we regularly willingly come together for intimacy. I think I finally know what its like to have a healthy, growing bond and our sexual intimacy is a huge part of our enjoyment in marriage, it keeps us very close.
I've been working overseas and for years on my job I always find ways to keep in touch with my husband and my kids, through a month vacations yearly, but my husband ask me he wants to have sex with someone just to satisfy his sexual urges, I don't want to I want to know why his logic was kind of that? It would not be biblically right for your husband to have sex with someone else.
I don't know why he thinks this is okay, but it's not. The emotional pain from denial of sex or even just intimate contact with your spouse is a knife that cuts deeper and farther every - single - day. If any of your other friends came up to you and said in complete and utter seriousness, "Yeh, I'm not into sex or intimacy and therefore I don't want YOU to be. For the rest of your life. So how can anyone think it's going to workout okay if they take this same position with their spouse.
My wife is sick in the head. She really does not like sex. She thinks it's messy. When I am nice to her and do good things it makes her happy and comfortable. When she is happy and comfortable she wants sex even less. Therefore the only way I can get sex from her I have found is to be a real jerk. Slam dishes in the sink, stomp around the house, be extremely testy over the top so that she doesn't even have a chance to get on top of the inevitable huge fight.
Then you yell at her that "we will be having sex tonight. Because she will only don't when she absolutely has to, because she is a spoiled little iPhone addict who thinks sex is messy and loves reality television. I hate life and know there is no God because of this woman. I could go on. She thinks Kim Kardashian is perfect Says I don't make enough money Quit her job to be a stripper She says I should make k a year for a woman like her.
She is the devil. I have been with my wife for nearly 9 years. I havent had sex in about 10 months. She sleeps in my 2 year old's bed every night. When my first child was born we were told that we probably wouldnt have sex for at least 6 to 8 weeks minimum because of the birth.
Now, if I ask for sex I started to use porn to get by. I asked if anything is wrong, and apparently there isnt. The connection between us isnt there anymore and its fading by the day.
I want to stay because of the children whom I love more than anything. Just trying to weigh the options if we stay together unhappily or if we divorce which one will hurt my kids more. I thought this would pass and we'd get back to our usual selves and enjoy and take care of eachother, but we are going on 5 years of sexless.
Im considering an affair and try to keep together for the kids. I am an attractive man, never had problems getting women, Im very social and outgoing. A few friends were surprised when I started dating her because she wasnt my usual shallow ditsy type. She tells me that she loves me and just today she told me that Im gorgeous. I told her I love her too and hugged her. I dont know whats going on. I will live the rest of my life unmarried and if I find a woman, great, but I will never lock myself into a nightmare again.
Do not worry, I was always faithful, but honestly even my grown kids see what is wrong. I will still be able to have a relationship with them even if I never see or speak to their mother again. My life of pain is about to change. This would be the moment I realized that I had made a terrible mistake getting married to that person.
Iamges: what to do when your daughter is dating someone you dont like
Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? Actually, many times we are thinking the same thing at exactly the same time. My husband went vegan after many philosophical debates on the issue and after he heard a great speaker on the subject.
And by the way, I think that applies to things beyond romantic relationships as well. We had a near sexless marriage for 34 years, but we did have three sons who are grown up today. My brother is incredibly toxic in his verbal attacks, gas lighting, threats, twisting truths to name a few.
You see I have a Korean friend who I call oppa because he said we are close enough, but now he calls me by my first name. How can he be so callous. While adults can make a conscious effort to plan their diets and consume the right balance of plant-based foods to live a healthy vegetarian lifestyle, she talked about how it is just plain irresponsible to restrict animal foods from their diets. What to do when your daughter is dating someone you dont like your part today to entertain the idea that sex with your spouse is worth poly online dating effort. What does the way I phrased that say about my attitudes? My second major Depression came after our most recent move to a community I disliked.
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